Give Yourself Goosebumps...

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

On Monday I posted on Instagram...
I shall title this week the comeback...lets hope its a little more paint by numbers predictable than RL Stein choose your own adventure

oh the LOLS I am having.

On Monday I ran an easy 10km, I didn't want to go but talked myself into it...because By George I was starting this week fresh! I had my gym membership ready to go, my program loaded and even though I didn't want to run I had told myself this week I would simply go through the motions. Run between 60-90 mins daily at an easy pace and daily gym. Within 5 minutes my headphones had stopped working, my pony tail was plastered to my neck and I was resigned to slog it out.

On Monday I got to work after my headphone free, humid, windy and boring run and jumped in the shower. And then tragedy struck.

My Levator Scapulae muscle went into spasm and over the course of the next few hours my traps and rhomboids locked down and I was painfully immobile from the mid back up.

I left work in actual tears and when I got home I laid down on the couch where I stayed for the next 40 hours. I visited the chiropractor for the first time ever and he worked some magic and I hoped for the best.

So my come back week...was one 10km run and 40 hours of snacking as I laid on the couch feeling sorry for myself.

By Wednesday night I thought things were on the improve, I had movement and was in minimal pain so I packed my bag for Thursday morning and set my alarm for 4.30am ready to salvage what I could...

Today is Thursday, I woke up once again with a muscle in spasm and not able to move. I got dressed for work in ever tightening clothes with an increasingly depressed mindset and am wracking my brains with what forms of physical activity I can do that doesn't require me to have thoratic movement. Right now I have settled on riding a stationary bike...sitting upright. So that's what I am going to do. I could rest...but I have rested. And there comes a point where rest becomes disadvantageous.

Instead of completely wallowing, I've used this literal down time to do some research into how I want to approach next year. Nutrition, Training, Race Calendars...also useful to distract me from the "click frenzy" sales jumping out at me all week. Not one website was visited not one purchase made. Who even am I? A very depressed Robyn that's who...

The come back is still coming...I just took an RL Stein type of detour ...10 year old me used to skip ahead and work back from the most favourable ending...always a control freak. I cant really do that this time but I am making my way through the chapters...

Starting from the bottom

Thursday, November 8, 2018

So its been a month and the angst of Melbourne Marathon has passed.

Here I am thinking I am being lazier than usual and a glance on strava confirms this...the difference being Melbourne was only 13 weeks after Gold Coast and I had an ultra booked in for December after Sydney...

Post Melbourne:
Week One: 18km / Week Two: 40km / Week Three: 51km / Week Four: 65km

compared to...

Post Gold Coast:
Week One: 23km / Week Two: 50km / Week Three: 80km / Week Four: 90km

Post Sydney:
Week One: 30km / Week Two: 40km / Week Three: 45km / Week Four: 65km

This time though I am trying really hard not to launch back into anything and not sign up for anything because I am really, really, really tired.

Actually that's a lie...I took one intentional down week and then planned on throwing myself into the #summerofspeed but my foot which had been niggling for a few weeks before Melbourne became a pretty big problem and then I tried to race a 10k the following week, but within one kilometre had done something to my hip / glute / hamstring... I don't even know and subsequently DNF'd after 3 measly kilometres because the pain was "like bad-bad".

So cue another week of easy running, because I am a princess. An early morning Wednesday run with Kat, where I bailed half way because my hip really hurt and my foot hurt and I was just so over being in pain...followed by ANOTHER week of easy running and that brings us to where I am at right now...Done.

Not Done in a "Robyn girl you're being so dramatic" way...but done in a ...I'm sick of racing and not meeting my potential, being disappointed and knee-jerking into a new cycle with a new race on the horizon, chasing redemption way. For heavens sake I do not run well, when I put that kind of pressure and emphasis on a race...I should know this by now. I do know this...but maybe it took the last few weeks and for Melbourne to unfold how it did, for me to really accept it.

The training I strung together in 2018, for me has been incredible. My race results this year whilst seemingly underwhelming compared to said training, are still incredible compared to 2017 and I need to remember that.

The 2018 racing year showed me what I am capable of and in 2019 with a few changes and tweaks I hope to really be able to capitalise.

But right now I am throwing myself into something a little different for the next six weeks. A personal challenge whilst the pressure is off running and training plan execution. It's all about the bigger picture, I have big goals and I am not afraid to take a small step back now to get things right to be in a better position to chase them.

I really want to get comfortable in the gym again. Find a way to be a well rounded athlete rather than sticking to what is comfortable right now.

I'm going to keep listening to my body and try and get this foot right before January and the marathon build starts again. Catch up on 2 years of sleep deprivation, and get on top of this seemingly constant weight creep.

Find a coach to take me into the next cycle. I'm doing something wrong, I'm missing something. I've always said I am a work horse and not a race horse...but for the love of all things mint chocolate I really want to figure it out and I need help to do it.

Tap back into my why, refill the tank, and take on 2019 physically and mentally stronger, time will tell.

I am always so scared to case I don't start again. But that's just not true, I am as committed as ever, and I trust myself enough this time to take the time I need.

Melbourne Marathon - you lil heartbreaker you...

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

I woke up Sunday after bugger all sleep and after a few coughing fits my lungs calmed down and I was super excited and nervous for the day ahead. I dressed and headed down stairs to make my breakfast and drink my coffee…the usual, oats plus black coffee. I wanted to talk to my fam but it was 2am in Perth and knew that was out of the question so came back up stairs to pack my chews into my shorts, and left two halves of a packet and my salt sticks on the table to grab on my way out the door.

I was ready much earlier than I needed to be so I decided to just leave, jumped on the train and headed to the MCG. When I got to the MCG I realised I had left those chews and salt sticks behind but didn’t have time to head back and get them. Oh well….I did some quick recalculating and knew I wouldn’t have enough so would spread out what I had over more KM and if I got desperate there are always lollies being handed out on course.

It was dark but not remotely cold. I was warm just walking around trying to find bag drop…there didn’t appear to be much wind but there was not a cloud in the sky so I knew the weather predictions would be accurate and we were in for a warm one. I finally found the bag drop and after spending forever in a toilet line I made my way through the crowd at the start line to find the 3.30 pacers, it was SO crowded. I could barely get within sight of the 3.30 guys and I had wanted to start in front of them and keep them behind me … oh well.

National anthem, countdown and then we were off…and it was ridiculous. I wasn’t too fussed on pace I just knew I had to settle in and see what was happening. I tried to not duck and weave around people and also tried not to trip over kerbs and potholes in the road which was harder because of the crowd.

The 3.30 pacers zipped ahead and I tried to jump in with them figuring I would sort out pacing once it calmed down a little. The first KM was a 5.04 but then I was able to find a little more room and was able to pull it back to 4.45 for the second and 3rd KM. After this I just tried to settle onto a 4.50 per km pace. The 3.30 pacers kept surging past with their train and I would then over take them again, it messed with my head a little because I was running even splits and I was below 3.30 pace…so I just tried to ignore them.

The first 5km flew past, pacing was probably 5 seconds quick but over 5km that's not a huge impact its 1 second a KM. The second 5km it got really windy and all of a sudden it was really warm. I was already looking desperately for the next water stop and knew they were about 3-4km apart. The water station at KM12 was the first indicator that this day was just not going to go my way. I decided cooling down was the most important thing, so I walked the water stop, one cup to drink one to tip down my back and one for my head. Until this stop, my splits had been consistent, but the walk stop created a 5.10 blip. I knew that going 3.25 wasn’t going to happen, but told myself if I could just hold onto 4.50s and walk the water stops then a 5.10 would even out and I would still be okay for a low 3.30s

I refused to quit and I wanted to fight for the best time I could and that’s what I did. I ran passed Tommy and Bruno who were out cheering and I still felt good …until KM 20 I ran even consistent effort splits but my water stop walks were creeping into the 5.20s and even my running splits were creeping towards 5.00’s. My legs were slowing on their own and I have never experienced that before. Normally I ran until my head quits and I stop…once I stop its game over because I’ve mentally checked out…this time my body just started slowing and I was willing my legs to move faster but I couldn’t.

By now we were down on the coast, there was no shade and the wind was blowing really strong. My mouth had gone to complete sandpaper and I was scoping out everyone on the side of the road to see if they had water in their hands I could steal. Through this section I kept telling myself once we turned around the wind would be at our backs and it wouldn’t feel as hard. Well that was a lie!!!! As soon as we turned the wind was stronger and I was like …well…wind might cool us down at least.

Through half way in 1.44 I was 2 minutes off my goal but I knew it was only going to get worse. The water stops along the coast felt very far apart, and KM 25 was a horrible 6.40 pace….I literally walked forever and took four cups of water. I am a total princess with being hot and thirsty – bizarre I know coming from a west coast runner…but I just hate it. I kind of pulled it back together for the next few KM with low 5’s but the wheels were off and I was terrified it would be like Gold Coast all over again. The wind was blowing whole tables of cups off and down the road but I figured once we got to the next turn around the wind would be only as bad as it had been on the first stretch…haha good joke.

Seeing Tommy just before 30km made my day, everyone else I saw had received the classic Robyn death stare of misery but Tommy was cheering so hard it made me smile.

Turning onto St Kilda Road was a relief, to get away from the coast and I knew we were heading back into the city. 12km to go…just run 5’s and you can still run a 3.36 LOL I make myself laugh with my optimism sometimes. I still hadn’t quit, I was still fighting to keep the race under control. My legs felt strangely fresh but my body would just not move forward. I actually looked down at my legs at one point and said out loud WTF…you’ve been in so much more pain than this in training why won’t you move.

Running into the back of the half marathoners wasn’t a lot of fun, although I did get to see the lovely Jess!!! The road got really busy, it was still blowing in all directions and I was just struggling. Karina and her Burber crew were out in force and seeing her gave me a pep but that quickly faded as we turned into a construction site. A guy on a bike crewing his friend pushed my attitude into bitch mode and I probably said a few very not nice things as he was taking up most of the narrow dusty road flicking dust into my face from his tyres and I just wanted to get past.

From 34km I was running towards the zooper doopers I knew would be waiting around KM 37. And KM 37 is the only KM I am really mad about in this whole race. It’s where I finally gave up. Don’t get me wrong I had plenty of very slow KM before 37 but through all of those I was still pushing forward and being slow about the water stops…but mentally still pushing. KM 37 I gave up, I just didn’t want to play the marathon game anymore. I knew I was so close and just needed to get it done but I let myself get ahead of myself and started to focus on how disappointed in myself I was and how badly I was doing. Irony is if I had just kept my head in that KM I would have been much happier with the outcome. – that’s the thing though right, we are always learning.

Winding back into the city now, past Karina again, then past flinders street station, trying to find gaps through all the pedestrians crossing the road, a last FML walk break around KM 41 before snapping out of my misery …seeing Michelle and Crew at the bottom of Jolimont street, being over taken by the 3.50 pacers…sigh.

Before entering the MCG, for the finish I had been visualising for 13 long weeks. Except it was nothing like what I had envisioned. I literally used the thought of running into the G onto the red carpet and how proud I would finally feel, to get me out of bed before 4am all winter. Instead, I was pushing with everything I had simply to break 3.50…

3.50.04 – see what I mean now about KM 37…if I had stayed present for one more KM I would have hit my D goal instead of my E goal.

In the weeks leading up to Melbourne I said to Lauren, I feel like based on my training I am going to either run the race of my life and finally be proud of myself, or I am going to break my own heart. It sounds so dramatic, but its true. So much goes into these races emotionally as well as physically that, the outcome can be soul crushing. Seeing Kat and Hayley in the crowd when I finally got out of the finishing area had me crying, getting messages from home had me bawling.

I felt like I had let so many people down this time. We don’t get to these start lines on our own, it truly takes a village. Tash and Michelle who listen to me all day long and let me send them pictures of my toenails …Kat and Hayley who dragged me through so many tempos and helped build my confidence and my fitness, Lauren who puts up with a wife being gone at 4am every morning, who picks up the parenting slack and sacrifices so much.

We all always have excuses, but not once did I think “oh my lungs aren’t working properly I can use this as an excuse to slow down” not once did I think about how much my foot was hurting and how it would be a good reason to not reach my goal. I didn’t feel the heat and think well there goes my race… just phone it in. The wind sucked but I found a way to reframe it in my mind. Sure I rattle these off now, but during the race when it counted they didn’t cross my mind as reasons to slow… For sure they had an impact on my performance but I didn’t let myself think about them. If I had… I have no doubt I would have run a personal worst. If I hadn’t worked as hard as I did in training I would not have a new PB on race view. It’s not the PB I wanted, its not what I worked for and it’s not what I think I am capable of delivering but it is what it is.

And at the end of the day….there is always Beer.

Melbourne Marathon Race Recap: part one...before the race

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Wait...remember how I was training for the Melbourne Marathon...documenting training...yeah haha gets busy especially in peak weeks of training. Also I developed a case of plantar fasciitis and just didn't want to talk about it. Then I got sick...again! Proper can't breathe without a coughing fit, can't move my body because everything hurts, sinus pain, turned into want to just die sick YAY.

However, I laid down so many good strong solid workouts and I was in the best shape of my life so I said a little prayer to the health gods to put the cold on hold…and I knew I would run through any foot pain.

I took an aggressive taper, cut the mileage, did the sessions, skipped the easy runs, and just kept on praying. A smarter person would have adjusted their goal going into this race considering... but I didn’t for a few reasons;

1.I ran a 1.39 half marathon with no taper 8 weeks out…my training and fitness only improved from here.
2.I ran a 1.42 half marathon 4 weeks out…on top of a 10km warmup at the end of a 120km week. I did not race this half, I kept the effort controlled and aimed for those 4.45-4.50 splits. I did run into foot trouble during this race, my stomach cramped and it was unseasonably hot and that heat caused me some distress but I executed regardless.
3. I have always felt like I have a much faster marathon in me and its simply confidence I am lacking. Confidence wasn’t an issue this time, I wanted to go for it.
4.You never know if you never try.
5.I am not smart

So now that I have documented all my excuses…and chosen to ignore them anyway we move on.

I was scheduled to fly out of Perth at 1.25am on Friday morning. Crappy I know but until someone sponsors me, I am continuously on the cheapest flights I can find. I got two hours sleep at home before leaving for the airport, boarded the plane at 1am and thanks to some engine trouble took off at around 3am. There is a three hour jump in timezones flying east, so I landed in Melbourne somewhere around 9.30am tired, cranky and not remotely impressed with the sunny warm and cloud free day I stepped into. Onto the bus to take me to my hotel (read hostel with no elevator and ALL the stairs)

After chilling for an hour or so, I met Michelle for Brunch, which rolled into the afternoon. Then Tash for a quick tourist lap of the Tan – I was still coughing and my lungs still didn’t want to work but I was surprised how good my legs felt considering I had a big lunch, it was 25C and it was late afternoon. Post run we hit up Mexican for dinner before I tried to go to sleep at a reasonable hour …even though it felt like 5pm because Jetlag.

I have a thing with numbers and I totally thought this was a good sign for the race ahead.

Saturday dawned hot and sunny and windy, I bailed on any idea of parkrun and spent the morning lounging around my hostel, eating the free breakfast and drinking the free coffee.

I met Tash and Jarred around 10 and we cruised to the expo to collect my bib and get any last minute supplies “read Robyn left her fuel at home”. Rocktape did a fantastic job of taping up my foot, I scored a cheap pair of Injinji socks and tried to avoid socialising as much as possible, I was low-key freaking out about how crap I was feeling, how hard it was to breathe and how hot it bloody was. We bumped into Charlotte and Liam and after an hour or so made our way up the road for lunch.

Lunch was fantastic, the company was better. On to the nail salon for some race day nails, honestly …weirdest salon experience of my life but chatting to Tash and just hanging out with like minded people who are also low-key freaking out was perfect. I rudely ditched the Nokkon event I was supposed to go to because, I was just a headcase and I was REALLY tired and feeling really dreadful and took myself home to rest.

A quick catch up with Kat and Hayley to hand over their bibs and wish them luck and then back home to find dinner (rice bowl) prep my gear, braid my hair and then try to go to sleep.

I really need to stop travelling for goal races, I just wind up so exhausted before we even start. I did not sleep Saturday night, Harry Potter was on the telly and I just laid there counting sheep and thinking of my fambam and how much I missed them … and how much I just wanted to be running already. I honestly think I got about 5 hours sleep across Friday and Saturday nights, my alarm was set for 4.30am (1.30am Perth time) and I was up well before it on Sunday morning.

Sunday - standard oats and Coffee for breakky, jumped on the train and made my way to the MCG...its go time.

Melbourne Marathon Training - Six Weeks to Go

Tuesday, September 11, 2018



This week I am so frustrated with myself, my head, the constant comparison to body shapes, paces, race results. I just want to run amazing adventures and have amazing stories to tell my kids and grandkids. I want to die saying "wow I cant believe I did that" and I just don't feel like a fast marathon will give me that satisfaction.

That being said, fully committing this to be my last marathon means I need to run this marathon fast so I can retire successful.

This week's focus

1. Consistency

Monday - I've lost track of weeks...

My usual Monday loop, joined by Pam.

It was nice for company and I really love starting the week with this session.

14KM 5:17 avg pace.

Tuesday - I think its W9D2

Rest Day.

I have literally had 2-3 hours sleep a night since Saturday. And today I just could not human.

Wednesday - W9D3

Tempo Run with Kat and Hayely...dragged through the KTown hills again. Kat said undulating...I say otherwise. Windy, tough morning run. Super stoked with how well this one turned out.

17.8Km 4:53 avg pace

Run Two was at lunch time, just running - nothing else

5km 5.01 avg pace

Thursday - W9D4

Hilly Run with Dan through Kings Park.

Lots of company this week...which is good because still only getting 2-3 hours sleep and I need help to get out the door each day.

14km 5.52 avg pace 390 mtrs vert

Friday - W9D5

A solo workout and I am crushing this week

5km WU
8x1km with 400 jog recovery
4km CD

4:28 / 4:24 / 4:22 / 4:21 / 4:21 / 4:20 / 4:23 / 4:18

such a solid run.

20km 4:55 avg pace

Saturday - W9D6

My usual morning run with Nook. One hour running, one hour on the swingset.

11.5km 5:24 avg pace

so friggen tired.

Sunday - W9D7

today was epic.

I woke up, headed out the door, had my 37km run mapped out and made it 3km down the road. I stopped. I asked myself for an excuse. I had none.

I turned around and walked home.

I need more sleep.

The end.

Weekly Totals
2 rest days
0 long run
2 nailed tempo

Melbourne Marathon Training - Seven Weeks To Go

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Seven Weeks....this makes me happy because I actually thought it was Six until I started writing this and now I am slightly relieved.

Last Week was a good one...other than the whole rolled ankle incident and the bombed workout...but its the first time I have run more than 30km in a long time AND I managed to get into the 100's even with taking a rest day. Building on this momentum this week.

Areas to focus on this week...
1- focusing on the workout not on the junk KM
2- nutrition - get at me weightloss
3- core work

Monday - W8D1

Easy miles to start the week and my legs were DED. So dead there is no A...just DED.

Very easy paced, literally turning them over, the usual lap of the block at ridiculous o'clock. I like to keep this super easy and super dead flat.

Planned - 16KM
Actual - 16KM 5:34 avg pace 128 avg HR

nutrition - really good, lunch this week is amazing and I feel good. But WHAT THE HELL ...the entire KG I lost last week was back this morning? after doing a long run and not eating all day? Triggered.

Tuesday - W8D2

Got up early, left home late...right. Another easy running day, legs felt better than yesterday but still slow and sluggish. Up Canning HWY for tiny elevation gains ...I remember when they used to feel like hills but now its just a speedbump. Around towards the stadium with a toilet stop and then across the bridge whose name I cant spell and into work.

nutrition - a little snacky when I got home from work, but I at least contained it to low calorie foods. dinner was amazing and my new go-to of sweet potato, black beans and quinoa in lettuce cups. Was too depressed to weigh myself.

Planned - 12KM
Actual - 11KM 5:32 avg pace 129 avg HR

Wednesday - W8D3

My new favourite day of the week and Tempo Wednesday with Kat and Hayley.

Diabolical weather predictions...which in reality wasn't so bad...a 3.40am alarm...a slice of GF toast, a few mouthfuls of black coffee and out the door by 4am. I squeezed in a quick 1km warmup before we set off and we were really lucky to miss the worst of the rain and the wind was only bad for about 4 of the 16.7km Puddles though...flashbacks to Perth Half Marathon with wet feet and cold socks.

Today felt really strong and I am really happy and a little bit excited. I was able to chat ...a little...and only really entered the pain cave in the last KM. We did run flat though so I will keep a lid on my pride.

A 3km cooldown and that was me done.

Planned 2 UP 15 @ GMP 2 DOWN - 19KM
Actual 1 UP 16.7 @ 4.47 per KM 3 Down - 20.7km.

nutrition - was right on track, a hard boiled egg post run this weeks usual lunch (sweet potato wrap with roasted eggplant, zuchinni and spinach) and then I ate toast and Ryans left over pizza for dinner *eyeroll* evenings definitely are my trouble time and I need to get more organised so I can stop falling into the toddler left overs trap. Everything still made its way into My Fitness Pal and the calories weren't ridiculous it just wasn't as great as I would have liked.

Strength - nike hips and glutes.

Thursday - W8D4

Easy KM so that means hills. Thankfully Dan signed up up for the pain with me otherwise I wouldn't have gotten out of bed. Seriously, what is it with a slightly later wakeup that makes getting up SO hard. A gentle cruise around kings park, sometimes taking the hills slow hurts more because you have to settle into the leg fatigue...which is something I am really bad at so am glad that I did!

Chatted the whole way round, then dropped him back near his car before cruising into work topping up for 14KM

Planned 12KM Easy
Actual 14KM 5:42 avg pace 140avg HR - 300 odd metres of vert too

Nutrition: I am starving today and thankfully the scale dropped that KG back off. I am still really unhappy with the current size of me and whilst I want to preach body positivity its just not reality right now. I am not delusional I know I am not obese I also know that I have been smaller and I feel better when there is less to carry around.

I am also catching the plague that has wiped out the whole office. JOY.

Friday - W8D5

This is shaping up to be a huge week. I worked from home today and was able to get a later start, fantastic because I needed the sleep. This mornings run was a doozey...WU - 3x3KM at HM pace with 800mtr jog recovery. Crushed it. Its that simple...I stayed present, I focused on the KM I was in and I kept the effort even. The first block I accidentally ran through most of the decided I needed to put my big girl panties on and get ready to suffer in the next block...but the suffer never really came. Perfect running conditions made this easier than I expected. And blocks got progressively faster too.

5KM WU 5:27-5:11 per KM
3x3KM (4:41/4:38/4:36)(4:36/4:34/4:28) (4:29/4:35/4:24)
4KM CD 5:08-4:53 per km

20.4km 4:55 avg pace 159 avg HR....who even am I.

Saturday - W8D6

We bailed on parkrun today, I am so tired and just couldn't deal with the people and the needing to be somewhere at a particular time. The weather was amazing so instead Ryan and I headed out for a cruise together. Around the coast fighting a headwind and just enjoying the sunshine and some good tunes together.

I thing we might give parkrun a miss for the next six weeks, focus on getting easy effort KM in on no schedule and catching up on that little bit of sleep.

Planned 12KM easy
Actual 12km 5:19 avg pace 159 avg HR.

Sunday - W8D7

Long Run Day.

This started out terribly, I needed to pee within the first few KM and had to stop and become a pee-jogger, hopefully I chose the most discrete location and didn't get spied by any windows or CCTV footage...and my legs just didn't want to get going. I find this when its cold and I am running slower...they just don't want to move or become fluid. Around 9km in I needed to stop again for ANOTHER pee what the hell. But after this I was able to really get myself moving. I tried to reduce the really big hills in this run and instead find rolling undulating hills that wouldn't have as much bite but would still give me some work. Route was perfect for this. This was a really consistent long run, just ticking the legs over, focusing on staying present but not worrying about what was ahead and working on not getting too far ahead of myself mentally.

33KM 5:21 avg pace 159 avg HR.

This closes out my highest week ever - 128KM, core work slipped this week and I didn't do the planned
I am still feeling really heavy and mentally that's hurting my game...but at the same time I am running better than ever and am fuelling my training so who knows, Ill just keep making healthy choices, keep doing the work and let my body sort itself out.

Melbourne Marathon Training Diary - Eight Weeks To Go

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Eight weeks to go.

Time is flying and I'm starting this new week ready to rock and roll and kick some goals. There are three areas I really want to bring some focus to this week...they are each as important as each other and I know if I knuckle down I can do it.

1 - core work and mobility
2 - reducing calorie intake to make a dent in some excess baggage
3 - nailing the mileage.

Life is hectic right now, lots going on, lots of things out of my control but rather than freak out and go into an anxiety spin I can focus on 1-2-3 and go to bed each night knowing at least what I can control was perfect.

Monday - W7D1

My usual recovery run Monday. I desperately could have done with more sleep but the last few weeks those extra few minutes of sleep have meant I have had to cut my Monday miles down and mileage is bugging me. Sacrifice it today and hope to go to sleep earlier tonight. Perfect morning with 17C no wind, way too overdressed. Tired legs but easy aerobic effort.

Stood on the scale today for the first time since the extreme Gold Coast depletion and was NOT happy with what I saw. All my fears came true haha so calorie cutting in full effect.

Nike Workout: Glute and Hip Strength, first time I haven't needed to take a break during the one legged hip work that stacks on and on and on...

Planned - 15KM easy
Actual - 15km @ 5.28 avg pace 148 Avg HR

Nutrition - a little too snacky at night but for the most part much better. Calories nice and low ...go away now bodyfat!

Day Nailed.

Tuesday - W7D2

So what was I saying about mileage?? WHOMP - I woke up feeling like death...that's low calorie living for you. Stood on the scale, was reminded why I am living the low calorie life, wasted too much time and walked out the door to a very humid morning. I did not want to go to work today, I did not want to get to the train station, I did not want to get off the train, I did not want to do life.

But I showed up anyway. A few KM into my run I started to get this weird pain on my lower leg, just above the ankle...but at the front. It was a kind of dull but shooting pain and the area felt weak like my leg was going to snap. I was only running easy so I made sure to stay on the grass verge as much as possible, and really paid attention to running softly and carefully. I thought the pain would go away but it became more insistent so as soon as I was close enough to work to pull the plug I did.

I think I have felt something like this before? Maybe? I don't even know. Either way I am kind of glad I stopped but also really in a mood today. My legs felt heavy but the longer I ran the more spritely they felt...just a bugger about that weak bone feeling.

Planned - 15KM easy
Actual - 10km @ 5.25 avg pace 146 Avg HR

Nutrition - dinner was amazing, carb heavy because I wanted the energy to run well in my morning tempo but amazing.

Day Nailed

Wednesday - W7D3

So this morning was really tough. Kat and Hayley invited me on their easy run which was taking in hills, Kat planned the route and I jumped on board the tempo train. My plan called for WU + 15KM at GMP + CD. Two KM warmup, and then settled in to suffer with the girls. And boy did I suffer. My head today was just so full of doubt, my legs were burning on the climbs and my lungs were screaming, I couldn't decided if I wanted to spew or poo my pants and I was working. I am so grateful for these two girls. There is absolutely no way I would have hit those paces without their help. I would not have had the confidence, I would not have even attempted it. I spent the entire time in my head freaking out about how "fast" we were hitting the hills and panicking I wouldn't be able to hold the effort.

I had a really big dummy spit about 13KM into the tempo when Kat sent us up the same hill for the second and then the THIRD time and just when I thought I was home free I slipped off the side of the kerb and rolled my ankle...badly. After a few minutes I was able to shake it off and run it in but the run streak is over, my ankle is very swollen and I cant touch it without crying but am taking care of it because I really don't want to lose any momentum here.

But I am so proud of this run. 327mtr of elevation some (for me) really nasty hills and I really need to have more confidence. I could do that today...I didn't think I could...I spent the whole time thinking I couldn't do it...and I did it. It's time to get out of my head and start believing in what is possible. Because even though I suffered, and even though I complained, and cried actual tears I still did it. I would never have been able to do that. I can do this.

Skipped the cool down because I couldn't walk. Not even exaggerating.

But this just means I can tighten up my calories more and focus on core work for a few days...the mileage might have to drop again but right now getting my long run in on Sunday mentally is the top priority.

Planned - 2KM WU - 15KM @ 4:55 - 2KM CD
Actual - 2km WU 16KM @ 4:52 with 327mtr vert - 0CD

Nutrition - 1 slice of GF toast with PB before run + black coffee. - this bit is important I forgot if I ate last week and stressed over it this week.

Thursday - W7D4

No running, scale moving in the right direction (do not let it go back up) and today I was constantly fighting the want to eat my feelings...because no running. Ankle is very very very swollen, but not super painful? will try and get that second speedwork session done tomorrow. I need to remember the way I feel today, that I am not working hard enough, that I need to want it more. I say I am working hard but am I really? or am I half assing everything I do.

Also my legs HURT after yesterday, Good Hurt.

Nike Workout - Glute and Hips - didn't need to stop once YES for progress
Nike Workout - Plank Top Up - this was tough and I need to do it way more often.
Nike Workout - Joint Opener - focus on mobility, tough because couldn't touch my ankle to do half the moves *insert eyeroll*

Planned - 15km easy
Actual - none.

Nutrition - good enough.

Friday - W7D5

Woke up nice and early to hit the 800's. I love 800's.

Except today I did not love 800's...I just could not get my head in the game. Workout called for WU + 8x800 with 400 recovery CD. I programmed 10x800 into my watch because I wanted to kick goals...after 4 I was done. Like so so so done. Funny thing is I wasn't dying during each was more just starting the next one. I couldn't make myself do it. I was stopping rather than running through the recoveries and my brain was imploding. I kept telling myself I wanted it too bad to quit and I needed to do the work...but I just couldn't.

So I decided rather than run 10...I would run the original 8 but with a 2km jog in the middle. Perfect...until it came time to do the 800's again and I just COULDNT make myself do it. So I didn't. Rounded up the numbers with easy running and got myself off to work.

14.5KM avg pace 5:10 per KM

Then it was sunny and nice and I was sad so I went for a lunch top up.

5km 5:09 avg pace 140 avg HR.

Planned - 16km with effort
Actual - 19.5km relatively easy.

nutrition still spot on - scale way down YAY and ankle ...strapped to keep it secure, swollen and bruised but not incredibly painful.

Saturday - W7D6

parkrun!! And we headed off to Shipwreck parkrun for the launch. Pirate themed and heaps and heaps of fun. Ryan won best dressed and somehow we pulled off a 23:21 good enough for 15th overall and 2nd female, plus first pram.

Running in a dress is surprisingly comfortable. parkrun was followed by Coffee and lots of park play. Hours of it...and I was dead on my feet by the time we were done.

Planned - parkrun
Actual - parkrun + CD 7.5KM

nutrition - fkn terrible, coffee for breakfast, skipped lunch and icecream for tea. idiot.

Sunday - W7D7

Long runs are the bane of my existence this training cycle. I just cant seem to get them done. Fresh from Wednesdays hill session with Kat and Hayley I decided I would long run in Kwinana aiming for 30-35KM. No route planned just simply up every hill I don't want to run up. And that's what I did...I found myself stopping on one of the hills so I made myself turn back down and get back up it again without stopping this time. And that feeling of actually getting to the top had me buzzing...until I wasn't buzzing anymore and was wishing for the sweet release of death. A fresh morning perfect weather and running on dead legs from at least 16km onwards.

I stopped three or four times in the last few KM...which is annoying and I am mad at myself for. It was all mental too...I just need to push through. The pace was okay, the effort was probably too high but I did not need to stop. I am still happy with the run...its the first time I have seen a 3 in a long time and next week I will just make sure that those stops don't happen.

32KM, 400mtr elevation, 5:12 avg pace.

nutrition - not enough...I skipped breakfast for coffee again and barely touched lunch or dinner. Ill pay for that.

The rest of the day was spent with the fam and I was in A MOOD. Likely because I was tired, hungry, dehydrated and angry that I stopped a few times at the end of my run.

Weekly Totals
2x Glute and Hip Workouts
1x Core Workout
1x Mobility Workout
1KG weightloss